GunsmokeGunsmoke

Gunsmoke

51 – Newtownabbey, Antrim, Northern Ireland

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Online: 12 September 2020

Modified: 12 September 2020

Mobile number not yet verified.

About him

Country of origin:
United Kingdom
Location:
Newtownabbey, Antrim, Northern Ireland
Gender:
Male
Age:
51
Star sign:
Capricorn
Height:
6' 1" (185cm)
Body type:
A few extra pounds
Looks:
Attractive
Hair colour:
Dark Brown
Eye colour:
Hazel
Relationship Status:
Separated
Looking for:
Activity partners; Friends; Let's see what happens
Have children:
Yes, living with me sometimes
Want children:
No
Daily diet:
Eat most things
Smoking:
Never
Drinking:
Occasionally
Education:
University / College student
Occupation:
Political / Government
Income:
Comfortable
Ethnicity:
White/Caucasian
Home language:
English
Other languages:
Ask me later
Religion:
Agnostic

About his ideal match

Country of origin:
Anywhere in the World
Location:
Within 40 miles of postcode district BT37 (Newtownabbey)
Gender:
Female
Age range:
20 - 50
Star sign:
Any
Height:
5' 1" (154cm) - 6' 11" (210cm) or taller
Body type:
Any
Looks:
Any
Hair colour:
Any
Eye colour:
Any
Has a photo:
Slightly important
Relationship Status:
Any
Have children:
Any
Want children:
No
Daily diet:
Eat most things
Smoking:
Any
Drinking:
Occasionally
Education:
Any
Occupation:
Any
Income:
Enough
Ethnicity:
Any
Home language:
Any
Other languages:
Any
Religion:
Any
  • Not important at all
  • Slightly important
  • Moderately important
  • Decidedly important
  • Non-negotiable

In His Own Words

About him

CUDDLY Morbidly obese. A date would necessitate the removal of the roof and a whale sling. Cuddling is very unlikely, although squashing is a distinct possibility.

BBW Stands for 'big, beautiful woman'. Well, two out of three's not bad. She's certainly big and female. But it's doubtful many beholders will consider her beautiful.

SIZE 10 In Uzbekistan. On the UK High Street it's a completely different story.

FIERY Psychotic. Cancel a date with this girl and you'll come home to find your car has been keyed and all the sleeves have been cut off your shirts.

VIVACIOUS Aggressive. An opinionated finger-jabber. She's got views on everything and she's not afraid to ram them forcefully down your throat.

GREAT PERSONALITY Ugly as sin. If a woman is selling her personality, then her face looks good in a paper bag.

ARTISTIC Drama Queen. Welcome to a world of slamming doors, smashed crockery and huffy silences.

ATHLETIC AND TONED Flat chested and shapeless. A sexless, lumpless and bumpless Tomboy.

AGE 34 Age 43. There's more chance of winning the Lottery on a double rollover week than there is of being a woman over 35 and getting a date on the internet. It doesn't matter if the guy is 60, he'll still confine his searches to '35 and under', so any woman's age should be taken as a ball park figure.

PLAYFUL Hussy. Working her way through the internet site and it's your turn.

GIRLY Thick. Shallower than a mouse's foot bath. High School Musical is her idea of high brow. She can tell you the name of every character in TV teen drama Gossip Girl, but has no idea who the Prime Minister is.

About his ideal match

WHAT MEN REALLY MEAN

ATTRACTIVE Plain. Everyone in online dating is 'attractive.' In the real world it means 'pleasant to look at' - in the internet-speak it means: two eyes, two ears and a mouth.

FAIRLY ATTRACTIVE Gutchurningly hideous. When he's not even claiming to be attractive, it's time to worry. Andrew Lloyd Webber will look like a Calvin Klein model next to this guy. Meeting under the cover of darkness is advised.

TOLD ATTRACTIVE By my mother, the only woman I've every loved or am ever likely to.

RUGBY PLAYER'S BUILD One who retired 10 years ago. Stop thinking: Jonny Wilkinson. Start thinking: Johnny Vegas.

What His Friends Say

Gunsmoke hasn't asked any friends to write a recommendation yet.

More about him

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